


all the wrong reasons

by merthurlin



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Bachelorette AU, F/F, background Grand/Echo and Fourteen/Tender because I couldn't resist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 15:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13573338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurlin/pseuds/merthurlin
Summary: From the memories of Gray Gloaming, co-producer on season seven of The Bachelorette:"Initially, the contestants list didn’t look too bad. Gray didn’t want to admit it, but Demani has made some weird choices as the Bachelorette. Now all she had been left to work with are this bunch of weirdos, and it was going to be hard work to sell it to anybody that they were at all interested in winning this stupid, stupid game."





	all the wrong reasons

**Author's Note:**

> I have never in my life seen an episode of the Bachelorette, but I HAVE listened to all of Rose Buddies and read like at least five Bachelor/ette AUs so I think I'm good.

When Robin’s Song said in a one-on-one interview that Grand Magnificent was there for The Wrong Reasons, it was only just in the second week of filming. Usually those kinds of terms wouldn’t be thrown around until at least week three, but Song was nothing if not ambitious, and he was determined to play the game, and play it well. He wasn’t interested in being the top contestant, but he knew that if he played his cards right, he could get up to at least the fantasy suites episode, and that would definitely guarantee him a real chance as next season’s bachelor. Also, it would just be completely embarrassing if he was sent home before his little brother.

That same night, Grand got a rose- Song didn’t.

When asked about it, right after the rose ceremony, Grand looked nonplussed. “Wrong reasons?” he asked, blinking at the camera, his awful flannel neon tuxedo nearly blinding. “I’m here for the sake of _art_ , and in art there are no _wrong reasons_.”

“Aren’t you here for love?” asked Cascara, the long-time host of the show.

“Ah,” sighed Grand, his gaze turning away from the camera to stare at the distant, a far-off look in his eyes. “But what is art if not love? And what is love if not art? Truly, all human beings are artists, looking for the purest expression of our feelings. And this show can allow me to fully express my own art, my own love, my own self-fulfillment.”

Behind the camera, Gray groaned quietly. This season was going to be _awful_.

-

Initially, the contestants list didn’t look too bad. There were certainly some gems there - Signet has been identified as an almost definite runner-up from the first rose ceremony, where she has caught everyone’s attention with her long flowing robes and all around striking appearance.  Waltz Tango has also been another promising contestant, with his quick charm and witty banter.

Gray didn’t want to admit it, but Demani has made some weird choices as the Bachelorette. She knew her girlfriend didn’t plan on actually sticking with whoever ended up getting the final rose, but she sure wasn’t making Gray’s job as an assistant producer any easier. Getting rid of Waltz Tango was one thing, but then also sending Robin’s Song home? He was being groomed to be that season’s villain after an altercation he had with Tender Sky already at the opening rose ceremony, and she sent him home on _week two_ . Now all she had been left to work with are this bunch of weirdos, and it was going to be hard work to sell it to anybody that they were at all interested in winning this stupid, _stupid_ game.

Grand Magnificent has been easy to peg down from day one. Young, pretentious, full of himself- Song wasn’t wrong when he said he was there for the wrong reasons. He also made for a terrible villain- he was way too caught up in himself to start drama with anyone else. It seemed promising at first, what with Echo Reverie taking an immediate dislike to him on day one, but that has since then shimmered down to a weird sort of tension Gray wasn’t at all sure she wanted to put on camera.

Reverie, too, was an easy case, Gray knew all about them from the other producers. They were there because of some sort of a truly draconic contract, binding them to the network for at least one show. Honestly, Gray wasn’t at all sure what they were still doing in the house, considering it was quite clear they weren’t at all interested in any of it, but Demani told her (in confidence, outside the range of the cameras, one of the few moments they have managed to steal just for themselves over the last several weeks) that she liked the fact that they didn’t even try to pretend to be anything else than what they were, and that they didn’t expect her to perform anything either. They can be Echo and she can be Demani, not just The Bachelorette and a contestant, and that sometimes felt like the only freedom she ever got in front of the camera.

Also, they were the only one who could keep up with her at the gym, so that was also a plus.

Almost surgically attached to Echo was Gig Kep-Hart. At first glance he seemed to be there for the same reason Grand was, what with him being a popular vlogger and all-around internet persona, but Gig was also just genuinely a nice guy. He went out of his way to learn the names of the entire camera crew, not to mention their personal stories and inside jokes. He got along well with all of the other people in the house, including Grand (which was a minor miracle), and just seemed to enjoy the ride. Which made for a great interpersonal relationship, but _terrible_ television.

If there was one person in this motley crew who knew how to play the game, it was Tender Sky. She seemed to take great pleasure at hitting all the tropes, her tail twitching more wildly with every rose ceremony that went by. In any other season she would be the villain, but halfway through filming she somehow managed to hook up with Fourteen Fifteen _outside camera range_ , which really shouldn’t be possible on a set as tight as theirs. The only reason Gray even knew about it was that Demani told her, and the only reason Demani knew about it was that Tender told her, and the only reason Tender told her was… anyone’s guess, really. Gray was a bit worried about that, honestly - it seemed like every time Tender saw her she winked at her with _intent_ , as if the two of them were on some secret nobody else knew, so Gray was pretty sure she figured her and Demani out, and for some reason was keeping silent about it. The two of them might need to have a little chat.

Fourteen Fifteen - now _they_ were a complete mystery. Like, literally a mystery - Gray couldn’t remember how they looked like half of the time. They haven’t gone on even _one_ solo date with Demani, but somehow were still on the show. Gray suspected her girlfriend was simply keeping Tender and Fourteen around for laughs, at this point.

At least Signet she could do something with. Gentle and poised, she was truly a good foil for the other weirdos in the cast, bringing a fresh wave of calmness to a truly chaotic environment. Her solo dates with Demani were truly sweet, and Gray could tell Demani appreciated having her around. She supposed she should feel jealous, but it was hard to feel anything bad towards Signet, who, much like Tender, seemed to know way more than she should, and would actively try to make Gray talk about her feelings, which was both very awkward and very kind at the same time. Gray knew that if Signet would be the one to receive the final rose there would really be no harsh feelings involved in the orchestrated break-up that would ensue soon after.

Finally, Even Gardner, another _mostly_ calm influence, if a bit more prone to go along with whatever crazy plan Gig or Grand came up with. He and Demani really got on well together, talking about their similar history as soldiers, and Gray could easily see a final rose ceremony which pits him against Signet. But he was also determined to keep the peace in the house, which, again, made for great great interpersonal relationships, but _terrible_ television.

All in all, Gray was having a lot of fun hanging out with those entertaining idiots, but awful time trying to edit together something salvageable for the show. It wasn’t her first round at a reality show, she knew the drill, how to manufacture drama, how to cut everything just so to make a compelling narrative, but this season’s contestants were all so out of left field it was hard to predict anything they would do.

When Gray complained about it to Demani, her girlfriend’s head pillowed on her lap, she just laughed softly. “And here I thought I was the one with the harder job.”

Immediately Gray felt guilty, and Demani, who always seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Gray’s moods, sat up, facing her. “I was just kidding, you know - I know this isn’t easy for you. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Gray said fiercely, her hands rising to cup Demani’s cheeks. “I was the one who got us into this mess in the first place.”

Demani smiled and twisted her head just enough to kiss Gray’s palm. Gray could feel her heartbeat skip and stutter, still so completely in love with this woman even after three years, still so completely enamoured with everything about her. “No more blaming anyone, alright? This is going to be over in a few weeks anyway, and then we can go back to our lives.”

“Who do you think you’ll give the final rose to?” Gray asked, curious.

Demani’s smile widened, just a bit, mischief sparking in her eyes. “Spoilers.”

\--

“Listen, Even,” Gray pulled him aside while they were filming the other contestants fooling around in the pool. She rolled to a stop around the corner, and winced when she heard what was no doubt Gig and Tender starting a cannonball contest - she would have to make sure nothing got damaged.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Even said, shoving his hands in his pockets, relaxed.

“I’m going to need to take you on an one-on-one in the afternoon, after Grand’s. I’m assuming he is going to say something real fucked up, so I’ll need you to be appropriately angry, alright?”

Even frowned. “How can I be angry at something he hasn’t said yet?”

Gray almost sighed before she caught herself and plastered on a fake (so so fake) smile. “I’m sure you can think of something to say, yeah? It’s Grand, it’s not like you could be short on ideas.”

Even frowned even harder at that. “But if I say something mean about him he will cry - he is real sensitive, you know.”

Gray’s fake smile became even more strained. “That’s just how it works, Even. Have you really not watched any season of this show before?”

“Nah,” he shrugged. “This isn’t really my thing.”

 _Then what the hell are you doing here_ , Gray though, exasperated, but didn’t let any of her frustration show up on her face. She was a professional, after all.

“Can you maybe just - try to be stern, at least? Channel those disappointed dad vibes you always have going on.”

“Disappointed - what?” he asked, taken aback.

“Never mind, just - Try, alright? For me.” If nothing else, she could at least count on Even’s nature to be of help here.

“Well, alright,” he agreed reluctantly. “If it will help you I guess I could help, just. Could I comfort Grand, after, if he gets sad?”

In another universe Gray might be a little bit charmed by this Even-Grand duo, but in that world she probably isn’t a reality show producer, so she isn’t too concerned with what alternate-her is thinking. “Could you do it outside of camera range?”

“Probably,” he nodded. Gray gave him a look, and he shrugged. “I mapped all the camera blind spots on the first week. Sorry.”

Despite herself, Gray snorted a bit. “I suppose that works for my advantage, at least this one time.”

Behind her, she could hear one of her assistants call her.

“Alright, I have to go back. Just keep this in mind later, yeah?”

\--

Predictably, Grand’s one-on-one went horribly, but not for the reasons she had thought. Actually, the interview itself went great - she could probably piece together a pretty good villain spot for him, and maybe even a few shots for the trailer which they are just about finalizing. The problem came immediately after.

“I can’t believe you!” Tender huffed, her arms crossed, her tails and ears twitching uncontrollably. On the other side of the room stood Grand, one hand on a hip, the other holding the tablet he rarely relinquishes.

“Listen, I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said. The cameras, of course, were catching everything, even if Gray had no idea what was going on. Gig was sitting on the couch between them, clearly just as lost, his head swinging from one to the other like in a tennis match.

“You stole that line!”

“What line?”

“I was waiting for the perfect moment to say it and you just - you just said it like that!”

“I’ll repeat - _what line_?”

Tender huffed again. From behind her, someone emerged from the other living room. For a second, Gray had no idea who that was, and so that meant it was Fourteen, probably drawn in by the ruckus.

“When Cascara asked you about getting to know us, what did you tell her?”

Grand raised his eyebrow. “Are you upset by what I said? Really, Tender, I didn’t think you even cared - “

“Just. Answer. The. Question,” she bit out, not sparing Fourteen a glance, despite them coming to stand right behind her. Somehow, _somehow_ , they found exactly the right place that their face couldn’t be seen by any of the seven cameras currently in the room. Gray didn’t even think that was _possible_.

“I said that I wasn’t here to make friends,” Grand said. “And I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings, but-”

“That’s the best Bachelorette line and you just blurted out without even realizing how iconic it is!” Tender cried out, stomping her foot. “Nobody is ever here to make friends, just to fall in love, but you wasted this line completely.”

“I’m here to make friends!” Gig piped from the couch.

“We know, Gig,” Tender and Grand said in almost unison before glaring at each other.

Figures. The first real drama this show has had and she can’t even show it on television because it was _meta_. What a travesty.

\--

The next week (they lost Even, which had been a surprise, but Demani had told her he had seemed eager to return to his projects and his job, which she could understand) Gray has been absent from a few days because of the flu. When she got back to set and caught up, she was furious.

“You did _what_?”

Mother’s Story, one of the other co-producers, rolled her eyes. “Listen, Gloaming, I don’t know what got you so upset. Frankly, you should be thankful I took the initiative here - this season has been seriously lacking it.”

Stung, Gray rolled her chair forward a bit. “And what do you mean by _that_?”

“Nothing personal, but it has been pretty boring here. I’m just trying to spice things up.”

“By bringing in Signet’s _ex-girlfriend_?” Gray asked incredulously.

Story shrugged. “She seems like a good bet for a runner-up, no? We had to do something to keep people guessing.”

Gray rolled her eyes. “Yeah, and how did that work out for you?”

From what she could tell, Belgard has been nothing but charming on set, even getting along with _Grand_. Her and Demani had a lovely talk, which seemed to cement Signet’s position as a runner-up instead of undermining it.

Story flushed, embarrassed. “It’s fine, I had a plan B.”

Gray had a really bad feeling about this. “Oh?”

“Signet isn’t the only person with an ex-” but before Story could explain further, a shout came from the main living room. Without sparing Story a glance, Gray spun her chair around and hurried over. When she got there a few seconds later, it was clearly the aftermath of some kind of an altercation. A woman she didn’t recognize was lying on the floor, clutching at her rapidly bruising eye. Above her was another person she only vaguely recognized, which made her identify them as Fourteen Fifteen, and besides them stood Tender and Signet, the first sporting a resigned look and the latter a serene expression.

Before she could say anything, the woman rose up, cursing. “What the fuck?”

“I will not allow you to talk like that to Tender,” Fourteen said, and it might be the first time Gray has ever heard them speak.

“Fourteen, I can handle it,” Tender stepped forward. “What are you doing here, Open?”

Gray’s head whipped around to stare at Story, who arrived just seconds after her. “You brought Open Metal here?” she hissed.

“She is Tender’s ex-girl-”

“She is a convicted felon! What were you thinking?!” Without waiting for a reply she rolled into the room briskly, commanding everyone’s attention. “Ms. Open Metal, I’m sorry you have been inconvenienced like that. I’m afraid there has been… a misunderstanding. If you would just follow me, I’m sure we can get it all figured out.”

Later, when Gray checks the footage (she wasn’t planning on using Open Metal at all, but maybe she could use some of Fourteen’s shots for a promo), she almost wasn’t surprised to learn that conveniently, all seven cameras in the room have stopped working at the same time.

\--

It was the hometowns episode, which usually was Gray’s favorite episode when watching the show. Getting to meet the families have always felt more intimate, more real, than anything else on the show, even though as a producer she knew everything was still very well manufactured. But maybe it was the fact that none of the families were really ever very invested in anything but their relative’s happiness, or maybe it was just getting to see another puzzle piece of the contestor’s life before the show - it always felt more special.

As a producer, the hometowns episode was a complete nightmare. The logistics all on their own would be a lot to handle, but with this particular crew everything just became even harder. At this point they were only left with four: Echo, Grand, Signet and Gig (Echo, Signet, and Gig because Demani genuinely liked them, Grand because Gray has begged her to let at least one semi-awful guy to stay), and each of them had their own complicated situation.

Echo, as far as she could tell, was on very bad terms with their family. She wasn’t sure what the full story was (and unlike some of her co-workers, she wasn’t dumb enough to ask), but she wasn’t about to drop Demani in the middle of something like that. Instead they had Echo take her to the city where they owned a dojo. They had a nice enough date at the gym, but it didn’t feel personal at all, nothing like what a hometown date should feel like.

Gig had the opposite problem - the guy had so much family it was borderline on obnoxious. He grew up in a small town, and it seemed like everyone knew him - and he knew everyone in return. They spent an entire day just doing the rounds, and then had their date the next day, where Gig taught her how to ride horses and introduced her to his horse, Duck.

She was dreading Grand’s family, but it turned out she was worried for nothing. His family was _exactly_ like him, complete with a pretentious art gallery in their own home and a completely unironic sense for drama. Lucky for her, however, is that she already knew how to handle Grand, and her and Demani spent that whole weekend just sharing long eye-suffering looks and stifling laughs. It also made for some pretty funny TV, and Gray was pretty pleased with some of the takes she had.

Signet’s was probably her favorite - they got to meet Belgard again, as well as Signet’s younger sister Blooming, who was even lovelier than Signet herself, if that was possible. Blooming even gave Demani her blessing, although she also winked at Gray as she did so, so she was pretty sure she wasn’t blind to any of it.

But all of it - Grand’s annoying family, the constant jetlag, figuring out which shots she could use for what - it was all worth it for the travel itself. Most of them, barring Grand, couldn’t house Demani at their house, and so her and and Gray got to share a nice hotel room almost every night, wrapped up in each other, completely forgetting the horror comedy that their life had become in the last few weeks.

As they lied together, Gray’s fingers tracing meaningless shapes on Demani’s back as she slept, she thought she could go through another hundred hometown episodes for this woman lying beside her.

\--

While she may have looked forward to the hometown episode, she absolutely dreaded the fantasy suites one. The whole concept was absolutely abhorrent, and although she knew Demani has already early on stated that she was waiting till after marriage (a complete lie, as Gray knew _very well_ ), the whole thing was still pretty awkward.

At the last ceremony Gig was sent home after a very tearful goodbye. Demani seemed really upset, because Gig really was a great guy, but Gray knew this was inevitable. It could have gotten… complicated if Gig were to win, seeing as Demani was going to stage a break-up and Gig’s online presence was going to make that even less subtle than it’s already going to be. She knew Echo and Signet were staying because Demani could trust them, and at this point Gray could only conclude Demani was keeping Grand around for her own personal amusement.

There were no cameras in the suites - thank god - but to be honest Gray would give a lot to be a fly on the wall during Demani and Grand’s night.

Echo went first, but right before they started filming they sat down next to Gray and leaned over.

“I just wanted you to know that. Well. I know,” they said, a bit awkwardly.

Gray stiffened a bit. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

They rolled their eyes. “Fine, be like that. Just, know that I got your back, okay? And I’m not - well, nothing is going to - there is nothing between-“

Now it was Gray’s turn to roll her eyes. “I _know_ , Echo.”

“You know?” They looked surprised. “About me and Grand?”

Gray could feel her mouth parting in shock. “You and _Grand_?”

Echo stared at her. “You just said you knew!”

“I knew you weren’t going to sleep with Demani, not that you were sleeping with Grand! Keep your voice down,” she hissed at them. “Since _when_?”

Thankfully, Echo started whispering as well. “I don’t know, a few weeks? I didn’t mean to, it just… happened,” they shrugged. “It’s a good way to get him to shut up.”

Gray raised her hand, stopping them. “I.. I’m sure I don’t want to know. Alright. You know either of you is going to have to be a runner-up, right? You can’t both go home after this week.”

“Get Demani to pick Grand. This matters to him more than it matters to me, anyway,” they shrugged.

She raised an eyebrow. “Would Grand be alright with that?”

With a snort, Echo rose up from their chair. “What, getting to experience separation anxiety? He would probably love that. Would be good for his  _art."_

Grand’s night, thankfully, passed much more uneventfully. Either Echo already told him they spoke to her, or he didn’t need to feel to reassure her, but she didn’t need to have any more life-changing conversations about his and Echo’s honestly bizzare arrangement. She fondly remembered the first few weeks, where Echo seemed to hate Grand’s guts and she could almost envision an actual rivalry plotline for this season. How things have changed.

It was on Signet’s night that things got shaken up, but in a good way. A _very_ good way. Gray was just settling into her room in the crew quarters when Echo sneaked in.

“ _What_ do you think you’re doing?” she asked testily.

“Come on, me and Signet are sneaking you into the suite,” Echo said, before quickly darting out the door again to have a look around. “The coast is clear.”

“This is ridiculous, I’m not going to-”

“Demani asked Signet to do this,” they interrupted her. “Now c’mon, hurry, before anyone comes around.”

Gray has known for awhile now that she would never be able to refuse Demani anything, and it seemed that included having to sneak around in the middle of the night on a reality TV show set with one of that reality TV show contestants. Lucky for her, her chair was pretty quiet. It was pretty exhilarating, actually, and she found herself having to stifle a giddy laugh, following Echo on the way to the suite. When they got there, Signet opened the door for them before they even had to knock, stepping out of the room and motioning Gray inside. “I’ll wait in one of the dorm rooms until just before dawn,” she whispered quietly.

“Thank you,” Gray whispered back, to Signet and Echo both, before rolling into the room, the door closing behind her. She knew what the suite looked like, of course - she had helped set it up, after all. But it felt different now that she could imaging herself in there with Demani, and not a nameless, faceless suitor. More charged, more intimate. She felt herself flushing.

“Gray?” Demani emerged from the bathroom. In the soft light of the hanging lamps she was truly a vision, and Gray could feel herself stop breathing for a second, falling back on cliches in the face of overwhelming emotion and longing. Because _yes_ , she has missed Demani, missed having her all to herself, missed talking to her and laughing with her and _loving_ her from up close, and not through a camera. She could feel herself start to shake, to her embarrassment, her eyes filling with tears. She didn’t want to cry, not when she had Demani right there, not when they only had a few hours before dawn, when Signet would have to sneak back in and Demani would have to sneak back out, forced back into this facade for another week.

“Gray, what’s wrong?” Demani fell unto her knees in front of her, hands rising to cup her face, thumb already wiping away a few errant tears.

“Nothing, I’m being dumb,” Gray leaned into Demani’s hands. “I’m sorry, I’m ruining this.”

“You aren’t ruining anything, love,” Demani replied fiercely, “And clearly something is up. I didn’t think I looked bad enough to inspire tears.”

“You are _beautiful_ , Demani,” Gray  whispered back, just as fiercely, “The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

Even in the low light, Gray could see Demani blushing. This ridiculous woman - Gray has spent the last three years telling her how gorgeous she was every day, and yet this is still her reaction. God, she loved her.

“I love you,” Demani said, softly, punctuated with a kiss, a lovely meeting of lips, a shared breath. Gray felt suspended in this moment, as if time has stopped, as if time has never existed, as if the whole universe was created just for this moment, just for this woman, just for them.

“Marry me?” for a second, Gray just stared, uncomprehending. Demani leaned back, just a bit, looking for her reaction, softly biting at her lip.

“What?”

“Marry me?” Demani repeated, reaching into her pocket and taking out an unassuming box. “I know - I know the last few weeks were a neverending nightmare, and that we have at least one more week, during which I’ll have to accept a proposal from another person, and that’s really shitty, but. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and every single embarrassing platitude they had me say during this show, every line and joke about soulmates and real love and true connection, they all felt meaningless until I thought of you. Marry me?”

White noise seemed to fill Gray's thoughts, the moment feeling just as unreal as the one before it, still suspended in Gray’s deepest desires and wants. But just like before, there was no universe in which Gray Gloaming would ever deny Demani Dusk.

“Of course,” she whispered, her voice choked, her eyes filling with tears for a different reason now. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

Demani smiled then, and without saying a word, slipped a ring unto Gray’s finger. Looking down, Gray burst out in shocked laugh.

“A rose, really?”

Demani’s smile changed into a smirk. “Well, I figured you deserved to get the final rose.”

\--

It came down to Grand and Signet, in the end. Not the pair everyone was expecting, probably - honestly, it was kind of a miracle Grand was somehow still around, and even he seemed to know that - but it worked out. The Contestors Tell All episode wasn’t too exciting, besides Fourteen and Tender flirting horribly throughout the entire thing, and Robin’s Song trying to stir up something only to get shut down by his own brother.

It was not a huge surprise when Demani gave the final rose (or, as Gray looked down at her ring, the _almost_ final rose) to Signet. Grand looked pretty relieved, actually, and not for the first time Gray wondered how much he knew. Knowing how self-absorbed he was, probably not very much.

Right after the final ceremony, Gray’s life turned into a bit of a chaotic mess. Although Demani needed to hide out for a bit until all the episodes aired, and so theoretically they could spend some time just the two of them on their own, Gray had a show to edit and trailers to release. Somehow, she managed to salvage her footage into something manageable, making Grand into a somewhat of a decent villain and Signet into a real life disney-princess. The end result wasn’t amazing, but it would have to do, and besides, she dared anyone to do better with the cast she had.

A week after the final episode finally aired, they released a calculated interview with Signet and Demani, where they both explained the nature of their “break-up” - it wasn’t dramatic, it wasn’t painful, they were just too incompatible. They reassured the audience they would still be friends, and Demani even managed to say with a completely straight face that she now considers Grand one of her best friends as well. So all in all, a success.

A few months later, just enough time to let all the season’s buzz disappear, Demani and Gray got married. When Demani asked her if she would mind if she invited a few of the contestants, Gray sighed, but agreed - as long as they don’t invite Song.

The ceremony was beautiful (despite Grand showing up in yet another awful neon flannel tuxedo), and per Gray’s stipulation - there was not even one camera in sight.

\--

The Bachelorette Official @thebachelorette  
All new Bachelorette coming to you on 20/4! Are you ready for true love?

Babe Gina @ginababe  
This Even guy is kind of cute, I hope he stays around  
↓  
Geology Cloudgate @gcloud  
Gig is where it’s at!!  
↓  
Fantasy Rodeo @radradrad  
I don’t know, I don’t think either of those guys really knows how to play the game, you know? 

~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
i don’t get the whole Robin’s Song vs. Grand Magnificent, they both suuuuck  
↓  
~Grand is a Gay~ @robtheworld  
at least Grand isn’t a het, i guess?  
↓  
~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
true!

Seventy December @blazeit  
Oh fuck, Even was really tearing into Grand this week, huh?  
↓  
THEY ARE ALL FUCKING @dlauren  
yeah i bet he was!!!  
↓  
Seventy December @blazeit  
Augh, why you gotta make everything sexual? Echo looks like they are gonna kill Grand at any moment, I doubt they are fucking each other on the sly  
↓  
THEY ARE ALL FUCKING @dlauren  
it’s called subtext, look it up

even is a dilf @megdisco  
FINALLY someone calls Grand out on his shit! God, I can’t wait for his pretentious ass to get sent home  
↓  
echo reverie has my heart @rollingsuccess  
idk, i think he was a bit harsh?  
↓  
echo reverie has my heart @rollingsuccess  
i mean grand is a dick but he is a well-meaning one, you know?  
↓  
even is a dilf @megdisco  
Go home you Grand apologist

~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
listen, i might be projecting, but it just doesn’t seem that Demani is interested? Like, at all? The closest we get to a real relationship is with signet, and even that feels more family-like  
↓  
~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
(and also who wouldn’t want to get close to signet, daaaaamn im gay)

planet boy @spaceeeeeee  
Heard some shit went down with production this week, anyone got receipts?  
↓  
Babe Gina @ginababe  
I heard they brought in Tender’s ex, and something violent might have happened? Not sure about the details  
↓  
Crit Dancer @cd367  
@ginababe As if, no way had something violent happened and they wouldn’t have used it in every possible promo 

Gig Kep-Hart Fan Club @gig_fanclub  
Gig’s town is so cute! Love our boy

Magnificent isn’t a surname @briabern  
oh god i can’t believe there are more of him #onegrandistoomuch  
↓  
~Grand is a Gay~ @robtheworld  
this really should be illegal  
↓  
~Grand is a Gay~ @robtheworld  
someone arrest the magnificent family  
↓  
Magnificent isn’t a surname @briabern  
LOOK AT MY HANDLE ROBERT 

THEY ARE ALL REALLY FUCKING @dlauren  
it’s fantasy suites week and i bet you 50 dollars echo and grand hooked up  
↓  
THEY ARE ALL REALLY FUCKING @dlauren  
(i don’t actually have 50 dollars don’t @ me) 

Astute Steven @assass  
fantasy suites episodes always gross me out  
↓  
even is a dilf @megdisco  
What do you have against sex positivity??  
↓  
Astute Steven @assass  
what

~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
no, but for real, this feels even faker than usual. i mean, grand making it to the end?? no way.  
↓  
~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
WELL at least my goddess mom won. yay for #signemani

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

Gray Gloaming @ggloaming  
One final rose :)  
[posted with a picture of her and Demani’s hands intertwined, a rose ring on each hand]  
↓  
~Demani is a Lesbian~ @shanaget  
OH. MY. GOD.

**Author's Note:**

> tag yourself i'm ~demani is a lesbian~
> 
> for the next season they brought back Morning's Observation to be the new bachelor, because none of the crew members wanted to deal with any of those other idiots ever again, and tender keeps calling him with shitty advice:  
> "make sure none of the contenders are actually double agents"  
> "TENDER THAT LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED ONCE AND NOW YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH THEM"  
> "i know maybe thats how you find your soulmate"
> 
> (fourteen was actually there as an agent from a competitor trying to sabotage the show but they fell in love instead)
> 
> find me on twitter @merthurlin


End file.
